And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
