did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
