OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
