I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
