U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
