Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
