my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
