part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
