i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
