Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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