i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
