Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
do herpes really smell.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
