I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
