sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
