if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
