The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
