there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
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