margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
