My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
tell me about the eggs
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
