so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
