drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
