So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
