Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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