worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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