He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
