How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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