don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
