Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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