The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
