the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Can you bring me the toilet please
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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