hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
