hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
