Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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