I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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