We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
