i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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