Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
