I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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