im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I can't turn off my feet"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
