It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
