Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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