They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
