Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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