I'm laying in your front yard are you home
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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