i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
