just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
