I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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