i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
