our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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