So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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