yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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